Catagory "Male" - I'm Glad I'm a Man

I'm Glad I'm a Man



I'm glad I'm a man, yes I am, I am king
I don't live off of berries, bob-bons, and rings
I don't brag to my girlfriends about my infections
I won't talk to the blind man, concerning directions.

I'm glad I'm a man, I'm so glad I could yell
I don't shave my hair, wax, or use gel
I don't buy wonder bras, or girdles or such
and I don't beg for money to enlarge my bust.

I'm glad I'm a man, of that I am proud.
I'm not all bitchy, annoying and loud.
I won't try to squeeze in jeans three sizes too small.
My crdit card is still good when I leave from the mall.

Yes, I'm glad I'm a man, a man you see
I can pee standing up, sitting down, or in a tree
I don't believe every ad with the word free

I won't drink diet coke, or eat a rice cake.
There's no silicone here, my chest isn't fake.
My face isn't "lifted," my bra isn't stuffed,
I do what's proper, I leave the toilet seat up.

It doesn't take hours to fix up my hair,
I don't see the need to use the bathroom in pairs.
I won't throw a tyrade and then blame PMS.
I'm a man, and I'm glad I can deal with my stress.

I have intuition, I never get lost.
I share household duties, I won't try to be boss.
I'm a man and with that comes a high sense of class.
I won't wear a swimsuit that rides up my ass.

I won't go out at night in a black leather skirt,
Then slap anybody who just tries to flirt.
You crazy women scare me, you have lots of gall,
To make Lorena a hero for hacking off balls.

I won't cry like a baby when Bambi gets shot
I don't make up false places, like the infamous "G-spot."
I'm a man of high faith, its my right to command.
The bible and God say all women must serve under man.
I'm a man by chance and I'm thankful it's true--
I'm glad I'm a man and not a woman like you.